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Will Winning Feel Like Losing? - Understanding and Overcoming the Fear of Success.

Happy Monday my loves!

This week's blog post has been inspired by a our recent Soul Circle inside of The Awakened Ones Membership, where we had an incredible guest speaker - Nilam Patel guiding the group through an Energy Healing Session. Nilam is a Body Code, Emotion Code and Global Energy Healing Method Practitioner and had asked for a little background about my members, so that she could deliver the best session. I told Nilam that common blocks the group often talk about are Fear of Failure, Fear of Success and Self Sabotaging behaviours, and she took that all on board. An hour before the Soul Circle began, Nilam text me to say she had used her pendulum to read the collective trapped emotions of the group, and that she had discovered that 90% of members were holding Fear of Success, where only 35% were holding Fear of Failure!

I thought this was so fascinating! And I realised that a lot of people think they must be fearing failure, when it is in actual fact that they are fearing succeeding.

Of course, there is an element of the Fear of Failure that DOES come under the umbrella of Fear of Success - which may be a question in your mind of 'will I be able to sustain success once I have achieved it?' and 'Will I become overwhelmed with Success and Burn Out'? - but there are many other elements to Fearing what will happen if you were to succeed at all your goals which you can read about below...

What may be presenting if you are Fearful of Success?

  1. Will my Relationship/s change when I become successful? - This is a common underlying worry that I often see in a lot of people who are trying to better themselves or strive for more success, and something I have experienced myself. When I began to open up spiritually and have all these cool new energies to work with, I began to become the person I came to this earth to be. I started to Speak up and feel Confident in my skin, I began to love and honour myself and my precious energy, I began achieving more and began a new career as a Psychic Medium and Energy Healer, I became SO happy! I changed. But what happened when I went from someone who had such low self worth, low confidence, couldn't make decisions for themselves, hated their job, suffered from anxiety and depression to being this shiny new human being - SOME people could not take it.

I experienced some people close to me, friends and family who didn't like that I had stepped up into my power and achieved so much success - Why? Because it was highlighting within them what they didn't have, or felt was too difficult to achieve for themselves. It triggered them that maybe they were being left behind and made them feel like they would never achieve success, and had them questioning their own abilities or self worth.

How to overcome - As much as we can feel sorry for others, we mustn't dim our light because we are 'shining brighter' than what others deem us to be. We must all walk our own path, and if someone if triggered by our positive success or transformation - then that is their own healing journey, and they must address their own shadows. Once we begin to look at this analogy, we can begin to detach from others and appreciate we are all walking our own path, and we wish everyone joy and happiness along the way. Yes, we may find ourselves drifting from certain people who no longer align with the new us, but it will create space for people that are - and the relationships that we continue to hold throughout our success journey will be way more meaningful and inspiring, as they will grow and evolve worth us. This point to overcome is all about gaining perspective and awareness around this situation, and recognising that we can't stay small though fear of upsetting or losing people in our life.

2. I'm scared of entering new territory that I've never been before! - So, the fear of the unknown and change can be a big stumbling block when it comes to wanting to achieve more success in our life, and may have you questioning of all the things that could go wrong, as opposed to all the things that could go so right when you step out of your comfort zone! Its very common for people to stay in a 'familiar hell' over choosing to pursue 'an unfamiliar heaven' - even though they aren't happy with their current life or certain aspects, its easier to stay put because its all they know and its familiar, at least they know what to expect.

How to overcome - When looking and acknowledging this block though, can really help us to gain some perspective around taking a chance on reaching that unfamiliar heaven, because really, what do we have to lose? Break your goals down into smaller steps and bite sized chunks, so that you can continue to edge out into that unfamiliar territory and make change slowly, reassuring yourself as you go that you are safe to keep going. In fact, you will probably really start to find your feet and pick up the pace then! Take your time, and acknowledge your negative feelings when they arise and reframe them into a positive.

3. Am I Worthy of Achieving Success? - This is a common block too, where we can experience self esteem issues, not feel worthy or good enough of the success and the happiness that may bring - or even feeling 'Imposter Syndrome' where we feel like a fraudster 'who do I think I am?! I don't belong here in this space'. It can also feel like our accomplishments won't be genuine, or even a fluke - so that again, we won't be worthy of the success we achieve.

How to overcome - Self Awareness is key, and challenging negative thoughts around not feeling worthy when they arise is important when trying to overcome. Remind yourself of your past successes and that it was safe for you to experience, and list all of your positive qualities that you will bring to the world in achieving more success. Practising self compassion and love for yourself will also be imperative, performing heart opening exercises and showing yourself how much you care for yourself. Speak kindly and when you find yourself speaking negatively about yourself or talking yourself down, gently catch yourself and replace with a positive thought or affirmation instead.

4. I'm scared I'll become Successful and then fail! - I'm just going to circle back around to this point because, it IS tightly interlinked with fear of success. As I wrote above at the top of this blog post, we often will feel this fear because we don't know if we are going to be able to sustain our success, or we may get very overwhelmed which will ultimately lead to failure. Another fear is that the expectations that others and ourselves will place on us will become so high that we may not be able to manage, or that because of past experiences where we have failed.

How to overcome - We simply can't agonise over what hasn't yet happened, and when we catch ourselves catastrophising, we need to return to the present moment and keep putting one foot in from the other in the here and now. What we are worrying about may not even ever happen, so therefore is a waste of our precious energy and resource that we could be putting to good use in the here and now. Also something that spirit always remind me is that we can always change our minds, backtrack or go another way - and we always have choices. This helps massively when we feel we will get stuck in a space of overwhelm or what if we change our minds, because we are allowed to pivot and re navigate if we feel like things get too much - but until we reach that place, there is no point worrying about it until it happens. Keep performing regular grounding exercises and when you feel anxiety and fear of failure creeping in, recognise that you are out of your body which WILL make us feel unsafe and insecure, so return to your body and be present.

Also its important to re define the word 'failure' - because really there is no such thing. There are such things as lessons, where knowledge is power and you will learn for next time - but failure is not really a thing. I also like to tell myself when things didn't come off as I'd hoped, that really I have already won - because I tried in the first place, where so many other people wouldn't have.

I hope you have enjoyed reading today's blog post and casting some light and why you may be fearing success in your life, and I hope you feel inspired to keep 🙏 on 🙏 going!

This month is mindset month inside of The Awakened Ones Membership where we have some awesome masterclasses, workshops and guest speakers coming up! To be a part of the action, you can click the link below and join us in the membership where we will help and support you to the next level of your journey.

I wish you all a very happy and successful week!

Sending love

Josie xxx

The Psychic Energy Healer

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